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Special Report | LAST UPDATE January 7, 2009 | |
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 Name: Tanaka Toshiko Date of birth: October 18, 1938 Place of birth: Kakocho, Hiroshima City Age at the time the bomb was dropped: 6 years old and 10 months |
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Could you please describe your experience of the atomic bomb? I was going to elementary school at that time. Just before that, there was an air-raid alarm but since it was called off shortly , I had come out to go to school. If I think back, it was strange that the alarm was called off. Anyway, when I went out, I found airplanes still above us.So, in fact, I was watching the Enola Gay, the plane which dropped the atomic bomb. There were three planes all together, amongst which one was the surveillance aircraft. The surveillance aircraft left the two and while I was wondering why one plane left and the others remained, there was a tremendous flash. Because I automatically covered my face, my arms got burned and so did my neck. My hair was scorched and that made it curly, just like an Afro hairstyle. It is just a total coincidence but we had moved our house from the hypocentre to a place 2.3km away some weeks before the atomic bombing. If we had not moved, even our bones would not have had remained. Although I assume the light ray was weaker than at the hypocentre, intense light covered the surroundings and I could see nothing but light at the moment of the atomic bombing. Immediately after that, the blast kicked all the dust up and I remember the sun becoming completely black. It was only after all those quieted down that I realised that I was in pain and that I had been burned. Since I was small, I started crying and went back home, which was very close to where I was. The house no longer had a ceiling and even the roof was partly broken. I clearly remember seeing blue sky through the fallen roof. My mother did not recognise me at the beginning. She could not tell that I was her child. It is quite reasonable since I had burns all over my body, which have now all become huge blisters, my hair was curly and my body was all black. She finally realised that it was me from the sound of my crying. Fortunately, my mother was also alive. She had been on her way to the city hall, which was very close to the hypocentre, to give notification of the family’s change of address. However, since she could not leave her youngest daughter alone in the house, she had asked my aunt to come to our house. What happened then was that my aunt found some horse dung on the way. Young people may not be able to believe it now but back then, everything was precious. Even horse dung was precious as fertiliser. So my aunt went back to her house to get a broom and dustpan to collect the horse dung. And exactly at the moment she was collecting the horse dung, the atomic bomb exploded. My aunt therefore saw the Little Boy falling down in the air. So my aunt came to our house after the atomic bombing. What had happened in the house meanwhile was that my mother, since she could not go out before my aunt came, had gone to use the bathroom. Carrying my sister on her back, she went to the bathroom and squatted down. All the toilets at that time were Japanese style and you had to squat down. The atomic bombing occurred when she had just squatted down. So the wall caved in on top of the opposite wall, but since she was squatting down, she fit into the triangular space made by the two walls. If she had not been squatting down, she would have died. I am really glad that Japanese style toilets were used back then!. My other sister was four years old and she was still sleeping when the atomic bomb was dropped. Because she was in her blanket, a piece of glass on her forehead was the only injury she had. Thus, everyone of my family luckily survived. I was the only one who was directly burned. But even those burns were cured quickly. I think the fact that I was still in a growing phase helped. When I was young, I still had some scars so I was reluctant to show my skin. However, they are almost unrecognisable now. Maybe that is because I often go travelling abroad and get suntanned. I remember the day of the atomic bombing very clearly. However, from that evening, I got a high fever and was unconscious for almost a week. My mother thought I would never recover. I suppose she had a very hard time back then with my father serving at the war and me being heavily sick. She also had two other daughters to take care of. But what was fascinating about her was that although she was in a difficult situation herself, she put up people who had escaped from the areas closer to the hypocentre. I remember seeing people escaping before I went unconscious. As everyone always talks about, people literally walked with their arms in front, just like ghosts. Do you know how to strip a tomato with hot water? It was just like that. People’s skin was peeled. Pink and white thin skin was peeled and hanging from their fingernails. And since they could not remove their skin, they were putting their arms up higher than their heart, I think by instinct. One interesting thing was that everyone was walking towards green. I think humans are made to go back to green, to nature. I do not know if they thought that they would find water or be saved. But everyone was heading towards green. There were many children as well. Among them, quite a few had lost their parents so were following any adult. It was a silent parade. From time to time, a person suddenly fell down and died. |
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How did that experience affect your (and/or your family’s) life immediately afterward? I was always ill when I was fifteen and sixteen. I just could not help fainting away. It did not matter when - I fainted anytime, even when I was just at home. Moreover, when I was tired, my thyroid gland would become swollen. It may have been some problem with my immune system. I always had mouth ulcers or herpes of the mouth. However, my parents never took me to the hospital. I think they did not want to think about the atomic bombing. I became better after I gave birth to my children. I think that is because I gave some of my illness to my children. People often say mothers pass down the poisons to their children. I do not know the actual causal connection, but judging from the fact that I became healthier after giving birth, I think I did pass something on to my children.What conclusions have you drawn from the above experiences? I am joining this voyage for my life. That is the reason why I am telling stories that I have never told before. To tell you the truth, both my son and my daughter have bone abnormalities. But no other member of the family has the same problem, so I assume their abnormality derives from the atomic bombing. My son has worse problems than my daughter, and the bones around his chest are pulled inwards. He also has an irregular heartbeat due to this abnormality.When my son was still an elementary school child, he was once bullied at swim class. He came back home pretending that nothing had happened, but the teacher came to visit our house afterwards and told me about the bullying. However, because I was brash and wanted my son to become strong, I told the teacher not to do anything to protect him. That was a big mistake. Ever since then, it became impossible for him to consult me for anything. He could not cry, he could not consult with anybody and he has been keeping everything to himself. Before coming on board the Peace Boat, I had never told anybody about my children. I prohibited myself from telling it. It was in Venezuela that I first talked about my children. I heard on Peace Boat that abnormality of bones is the most frequent symptom of the atomic bombing. In my children’s case, my daughters bones are protruded and my son’s are pulled inwards. I think this is one of the biggest terrors of the atomic bombing. The suffering is passed on to the next generation. It does not end with one generation and I feel really sorry for my children. Another terror of the atomic bombing is that it leaves a long continuous torment to people. Even after 63 years, people are still in conflict. Although I have been living very positively I have a new trouble after getting on Peace Boat this time, about about my son. I still have not made up my mind as to whether I should talk about the atomic bombing with my son. I have never talked about it with him in my life. That is partly because I want to believe that he has gotten over it. And that is also the reason why I cannot help thinking in such a manner that talking about the atomic bombing with my son may make him suffer again. But I think that talking about him without telling him anything directly is a sort of betrayal. So I also think it is time I talk to him. It will be a big challenge for me but I think I will try to talk to him after I go back to Japan. I know I cannot postpone it anymore. I am an artist and I make cloisonné works. For a long period of time, I had been making works that had nothing to do with the atomic bombing. However, on the 50th anniversary of the atomic bombing, I made up my mind to make a work called The day after 50. When I made it, I realised that I had always been expressing my feelings towards the atomic bombing in my works through small symbols. The symbols were so small that only very attentive people could notice. But they were always there. One example is the abstract image of Adam and Eve. They represent human’s original sin, which to me, is equal to the atomic bombing. Adam and Eve therefore represent people’s fighting spirit or desire. I sometimes put the Hiroshima Peace Memorial in my work too. The reason I did not explicitly express my feelings was because I want to make works that are pleasant to people. Works that people would want to put close to them forever. I know that to directly draw terrible scenes of the atomic bombing or of the war has an immediate impact on people. It may give birth to peace activists. However, that is not my style. Guernica by Picasso is an artwork, though it contains misery. Likewise, I want to produce works that keep on sending messages forever. And I know now that I myself have been healed by doing so. Psychological pain from the atomic bombing cannot be noticed by people around you… All in all, I like to face forward rather than being pessimistic and having negative thinking. Being negative does not solve anything, does it? What conclusions have you drawn from the above experiences? As a part of the Peace Boat Hibakusha Project, I visited South American countries. I appeared on television on TELESUR and was interviewed by some newspapers. The situation in South America has given me hope and made me very happy. Although there is the exception of Colombia, the whole of South America is now a nuclear-free zone. Ecuador newly adopted a peace constitution. They all said, “the South is now North”. What they meant was that the prosperity that once existed in the North is now in the South. However long the way may be, I strongly felt that something can be achieved.However, the problem is that although many meaningful things such as the nuclear-free zone and the peace constitution in Ecuador have been achieved, they are not yet widely known amongst people. Intellectuals certainly know about them but not young people. Even if young people hear repeatedly about them and thus know about their existence, they do not understand what they really mean. That is the reason I tried really hard to explain to them the necessity of nuclear abolition and peace constitutions.It is always important to see oneself from an outsider’s perspective. By doing that, you can see how what you have is precious and wonderful. Japan has been talking about peace, Article 9 and nuclear abolition just as something abstract. That is why it is now important to re-import those values from the South with some additional values. I really encourage the current movement in South America and I am glad I had this wonderful opportunity. I think that the four of us [who participated in this delegation] did a good job. It has been two months since the Peace Boat Hibakusha Project started. I feel that most of us have talked about our experiences of the atomic bombing and we are now stepping into a new phase. We are overcoming pain or suffering and now exploring what we can do next. What we can do more to abolish nuclear weapons. What is the concrete process to achieve it? I think we are starting to see the way. Japan naturally has to treasure its peace constitution. But in addition to that, we also have to respond to the movement in the South. Japan has long been treated as an industrial leader. But that position is fragile. What Japan can do is to export peace. The only way Japan can be a leader is by using peace as its weapon. Unfortunately, Japan is too passive at the moment. There has to be people who believe that not having weapons is the strongest weapon. The Japanese government has to believe this too. At the moment, Japan is economically dependent on the US. In order to break this vicious cycle, we have to change the politics. The Liberal Democratic Party has long been in power in Japan but those people are the ones who benefited from the special procurement boom of the Korean War. Therefore, it is impossible for them to break the vicious relation with the US. But I have a hope since Mr Obama has now become the President of the US. Slowly maybe, the changes will occur. Now that even Kissinger is talking about nuclear abolition at the First Committee of the United Nations, it is time for Japan to think about its own position in the world. To have nuclear weapons signifies mutual destruction. The US has to be aware of the demerits of the possession of nuclear weapons. People ask silly question such as, “what if we are attacked and we did not have weapons?” Those people are the ones who must be persuaded. We have to establish a system in which nuclear weapons states are ignored by the non-nuclear weapon states. Do you have any other messages you would like to convey about nuclear weapons and/or war? The experience of the atomic bombing was so strong that I am still traumatised. I do not know what to do with this experience. I try to be positive but somewhere deep in myself, I always think about it. It is not just about nuclear weapons. All weapons of mass destruction, defoliants and depleted uranium…all these weapons that have long-lasting effects including genetic damage should never be allowed. They will eventually destroy humanity.As [guest educator] Sanho Tree talked about in his lectures, human history might repeat. But humans are able not to repeat the same thing. If you believe in something and you are courageous enough to pursuit it, you may be successful in not making the same mistakes. Of course there will be other problems but we can learn little by little. I do not think that we reach paradise at the end of that process but I believe the world can get better with this mentality. All human beings have desire and a competitive mind. They feel they want to be better than others, or they want money. I think such combative spirit comes from the denial of differences. The way we should think is not to blame and envy millionaires for the amount of money they have, but to be satisfied with what we have ourselves. It is very important that people can be confident in themselves. I think people’s persistence on brand-name products is one of the good examples. People think that to have those products makes people recognise you. However, each person has to have something that makes that person satisfied and confident and only respect of cultures can realise it. How can you make peace without respect? There are people who are poor but have very rich lives in terms of satisfaction. People who have shining eyes. When I visited the countryside in India, people were so happy and energetic. What we need to do is to stop comparing ourselves with other people. It is something that you can start even now! That will lead us to peace. |
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