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Special Report |
LAST UPDATE January 7, 2009
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| site design imagesparkle.com |
| December 4, 2008 |
Testimony of Endo Hiroshi –
63rd Global Voyage for a Nuclear Free World, Hibakusha Project Participant |
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site design imagesparkle.com |
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Name: Mr ENDO Hiroshi
Date of birth:January 10 1941
Place of birth: Yokogawa, Hiroshima
Age at the time the bomb was dropped: 4 years old
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Could you please describe your experience of the atomic bomb?
I can say that my life was saved by the fact that my brother forgot his hat. On August 6, when the A-Bomb was dropped on Hiroshima, I was on my way back home with my mother and older brother after visiting a relative’s house to get some potatoes. Food was scant during the war. Mother shouted, “let’s go home before it gets too hot!” and we started heading back. But 15 minutes later, my brother realized that he forgot his hat at the relative’s house and we went back. That was when the A-Bomb was dropped. I still vividly remember the shining body of the B29 which flew from the direction of the Inland Sea. As I was little back then, I thought it looked like a toy plane.
What happened after that? I don’t know. I became conscious again in an air-raid shelter, and heard the sound of strong rain hitting the ground. Mother told me later that I was blown away by the bomb blast to somewhere close to a river. As we needed to go back home, we started to walk along the river avoiding the crowd of people. There, then, on a grassy path atop an embankment, I saw something that I was not supposed to see.
It was like hell. There were many dead bodies among the grass. I don’t want to compare the dead to the devil or anything monstrous, but that was what I saw in their faces. All of them were severely burnt. Although Mother told me to keep my eyes closed, I couldn’t because you couldn't step over the bodies. If you wanted to walk and avoid the bodies, you had to sway yourself, meaning you needed to open your eyes and watch your steps.
As I was only four years old, I couldn’t understand anything. Why were those people dead? Why did they look like monsters? Where to go... What to do…The only thing I understood was the fact that I saw something scary. I’m sure that if one of those people had taken my hand, I would have fainted.
That’s what I remember about the A-Bomb. After that, I feel that my life started when I was a second-grade primary school student.
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How did that experience affect your (and/ or your family’s) life immediately afterward?
The first thing I can think of is the pain in my legs. My legs started to ache when I spent too long time on the beach. I didn’t care about the pain as a child but it began to disturb me once I became a full-time worker.
It is difficult to tell the effects of the A-Bomb, though. We don’t talk about the A-Bomb in the first place. Mother always says that it is so disgusting to talk about the bomb. She says, “it’s not going to do you any good to keep on thinking about such a stupid thing. What if you have a nightmare? ”.
How did that experience affect your (and/ or your family’s) life in the decades that followed?
My health is most directly affected by the a-bomb. I’ve been having pain in the lower part of my back and legs since I was young. The pain becomes stronger in the rainy season and under air-conditioner. My sight started to grow dim from my forties. I can’t read small letters any more. When I look at something shiny, tears come up and my eyes get stuck by a crust of mucus. I used to work for a printing company but I had to quit because of my eyes. I don’t know the exact cause of this disorder of my eyes.
Also because of the atomic bomb, my colleagues often teased me. If I’m limping, for example, people say to me “oh-oh, is it an atomic bomb again?”. “No, I’m just working too hard,” I reply. I never allowed myself to take even a day off from work. For me, it is unbelievable that there were people who could make a joke about the atomic bomb.
Well, it’s just because people working at the printing company were somewhat boorish, in general.
Does it mean these people were simply having a little fun with you? Rather than being nasty?
Oh yes, yes. It’s almost the same thing as asking an innocent-looking girl if she is working at a hostess bar. Let’s assume you’re wearing heavier makeup than usual. Then people might ask, “are you working at a hostess bar tonight?”. They are merely saying that as a light joke. If you knew that she is actually working for a cabaret, you would never say such a thing.
There is pretty much the same logic in what people say to me about the atomic bomb. Someone who noticed my hair thinning said to me, “uh-oh, is it what the atomic bomb does to you?”.
Then you didn’t care about these bad jokes?
No, I didn’t. I didn’t care that much. In fact, the pain of my legs was a more serious problem for me. Just imagine. You can’t frequently go to hospital in your forties. What would your colleagues and your boss think of that? Whenever I took a medical examination arranged by my company, I said that there is nothing wrong with me. So what could I do? I had to make do with over-the-counter painkillers, however strong my pain was.
What conclusions have you drawn from the above experiences?
I must say that it is impossible to imagine what it is like to experience the atomic bomb. Hibakusha are suffering from worries and agonies that can never be solved by money. And radiation cannot be cured by medicine.
Trouble with marriage is a good example. When I was young, I went to see my girlfriend’s father to ask for permission to marry her. But what he asked me was only about the atomic bomb. “You are from Hiroshima and you were four years old when the atomic bomb was dropped. What happened to you on that day?”, he asked. So he did not ask what I do in life, or about my job. He asked me only what I was doing on that day. Once I answered, that was the end of the conversation. The end of our relationship.
Who on earth wants to let their daughter marry a daughter a Hibakusha? I’m sure your parents would go mad if you said you wanted to marry a Hibakusha. People around you would say “Why him, for god’s sake? There are tons of men in the town. Is she so unpopular among boys?”
So the issue of Hibakusha is such a deep-rooted, long-standing thing. It will be passed down from generation to generation. There is no single conclusion or solution to this issue.
Do you have any messages you would like to convey to others about nuclear weapons and/ or war?
There is always a limit to what one is allowed to do, even in a war. Victims of the atomic bomb could not wear funeral makeup because their faces were too messed up. I say, such a death is too inhuman. It might be different if it was the result of a one-on-one fight. If soldiers want to fight each other, it doesn’t matter. Go ahead. But if the fight involves innocent women and children, it must not be allowed. I sometimes ask myself, “what did I do wrong when I was four years old?”. War should never be repeated.
Hearing other Hibakusha's testimonials on the Peace Boat, I realized the power of people. Our voices and peace activities can make a difference to the current situation of the world. I believe that the activity of Hibakusha is what has prevented the use of the atomic bomb for human beings since Hiroshima and Nagasaki. What is important is to keep raising our voices.
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